Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Allen Iverson Show: (Hopefully not) Coming to an Arena Near You!





There is a lot of talk surrounding Iverson lately.  Rather than spew out the same rhetoric, I am going to make or break a case for every NBA team.  Let's have some fun:

Southeast:
Orlando Magic- This team is already dancing a fine line with too many scoring options.  Nelson going down doesn't make this prospect anymore appealing unless Jason Williams busts.  Still, I don't see Iverson as the type of guy that will fit in with their championship hopes. Although watching a scene break out where the final 10 seconds of an elimination game are ticking away and Vince and Iverson are locked at midcourt trying to wrestle the ball away from one another while Dwight Howard is stomping his feet in the key screaming "but I am Superman!" would be priceless.  BREAK

Miami Heat- Riley likes taking on projects and I could definitely see him loving the possibilities here.  There was a lot of buzz this summer about a possible Miami stint.  When Wade is out the offense tends to go stale.  Still Iverson will not make this deal work for two reasons.  First, Chalmers has the starting PG spot and I don't think they will take that from him.  Second, no one on this team will be able to prove to Iverson what his role SHOULD be.  He just won't co-exist well with Wade and Beasely provides enough antics.  I am sorry, that last one was a cheap shot.   BREAK

Washington Wizards- Hibachi just isn't sizzling, Foye is injured and what do they have to lose?  I think Iverson can either sell tickets or sneak you into the 8th slot.  MAKE

Charlotte Bobcats- For entertainment purposes alone, how could you not want to see this?  You have Jordan in the luxury box (well, not really) Stephen Jackson and Iverson patrolling the streets of NBA cities, and lack-luster guard depth.  Larry Brown is one of the largest Iverson supporters in the league. Still, I see implosion written all over it.  Perfect Bobcat recipe!  MAKE

Atlanta Hawks- This team is in need of a big body, not another shoot first minutes-mongrol.  Like so many teams, if Iverson would accept the bench role, this could be a sweet match.  Alas... BREAK

Atlantic:

Boston Celtics- The Marbury project didn't pan out.  Rondo signed a big deal but outside shooting woes and dropping 3 of 5 has gotten the Celtic camp nervous.  Garnett and Pierce could be good balancing forces on Iverson and I could see him if not deferring, at least sharing the load with the duo.  Personal opinion aside, I could see this happening.  But I just don't see Iverson accepting the role he would need to play.  BREAK

New York Knicks- Here we go... everyone has their two cents on this one.  The way I see it, you are building for the future; Iverson is short term.  You are developing a quality young guard in Toney Douglas at 30 minutes a night; those minutes will go to Iverson.  The young guys need quality mentoring especially on the practice court; Iverson is notorious for his practice habits.  So, in every way it seems to not add up.  Yet, it still makes sense.  The Knicks are stagnant offensively, no one is stepping up as a leader, and the Knicks are 1-9. So, why not?  Its a one year commitment and everyone knows the Knicks are just waiting for summer '10.  The Garden could use some buzz as well as economic uplift.  Chandler is fit for the 3 and Toney Douglas can have the pressure released to produce wins.  He will take a dip in minutes but maybe that isn't such a bad thing.  D'Antoni can definitely work around this issue with his wacky lineup concoctions.  And practice?  We're talking about practice?  D'Antoni doesn't run stiff practices... they are the country club variety so what's to lose?  Not much, you are 1-9.  MAKE

New Jersey Nets- SURE! Who really cares??? MAKE

Toronto Raptors- This seemed to make sense as they are a bubble team that could use a push but the push they need is on the defensive end.  Hedo is still finding his role and introducing another variable, especially a highly volatile one does not seem to make sense.  BREAK

Philly- Been there, done that.  I just don't see it happening. BREAK

Central:


Detroit Pistons- Well let's start out by saying.... NOPE  BREAK

Indiana Pacers-  They have a good thing going all of sudden and it fully revolves around the ball being in Granger's hands.  I can't see Iverson playing nicely.  Too bad because here is the broken record... like so many teams, Iverson could fit in well here if he knew how to play a role position.  BREAK

Chicago Bulls- Offense is in need of help.  Rose has been struggling.  But then again the talks about swapping Gordon for Iverson went no where and I just don't see another Iverson maneuver here.  BREAK

Milwaukee Bucks- If Redd returns healthy, this is a no brainer.  If Redd struggles and Jennings cools off, maybe we will talk.  Until then... BREAK

Cleveland Cavs- They have mixed and matched a lot this year after last year's "ideal LeBron team" fizzled and faded near the end.  There are a lot of positives on this team but the truth is nothing works unless it is running through LeBron.  That's just the way it is and who can argue it?  Another case of a team that is on the hump of the NBA Finals and AI may push them but in the right direction?  I say nay.  If the Cavs do find a way to deal DeLonte and can salvage some production from that spot, that about seals and AI talk in Cleveland.  Regardless, I don't see it happening.  BREAK

Southwest:


Houston Rockets- This team has a set identity and its built on role-playing, unselfishness.  Both things don't mix well with Iverson.  I am interested to see what happens to this oddly functioning team when McGrady returns.  If he can give them some positive offensive production while not getting in the way defensively, he is enough to keep Houston in the playoff mix.  Iverson does not make them any more of a contender and he offsets the balance so... BREAK

Memphis Grizzlies- Apparently, when the move happen this summer, Iverson felt it was God who wanted him to play in Memphis.  Ummm, Bueler?  Bueler?  BREAK

San Antonio Spurs- Older by the minute.  This is the type of team that hits a stride after the All Star break and can really become dangerous.  Again, what this team needs is role players, not aging stars.  BREAK

Dallas Mavericks- Well, I think this line up could actually use the skill set Iverson possess but at what cost?  There have been many failed experiments built around Dirk over the years.  Imagining AI and Kidd teaming up kind of gives me a headache.  Kidds runs the show.  AI needs the ball in his hand to be effective.  The offense rotates around Dirk while Howard and Marion get out and run the floor and Terry provides the "microwave" minutes.  Once again, if he were going to accept a new role, AI could make this team dangerous.  Not happening.  Then again, this is Mark Cuban we are talking about.  I will give him the benefit BREAK

New Orleans Hornets-  You know when you are in the 2nd grade and you put your hand underneath your desk during class only to find it is infested with dry gum and boogers?  That is the New Orleans Hornets right about now.  Wait a minute, that has bring in an aging ball hog written all over it!  Chris Paul is out with a broken heart.  The organization is throwing money at the Peja corpse and the Tin-Man, Okafor.  Another scorer at the very week 2 guard could make things at least watchable again in the Bayou.  Plus the prospects of Chris Paul slapping Iverson come February are too lucrative to pass up.  MAKE

Pacific:


Phoenix Suns- Balance is everything for this team and Iverson offsets the balance.  This team only works with the ball in Nash's hands and Iverson needs the ball in his hands to be effective.  You can't make this work.  BREAK

Los Angeles Lakers- Fisher is on the bench waiving a towel.  Farmar and Shannon Brown are exchanging giddy high fives at the bottom of the bench.  Sasha is wrapped in a leopard-skinned robe tweeting about a new Euro-club on the strip.  Artest, Iverson, and Kobe are doing their best Rodman/Pippen/Jordan as they walk off in tandem after putting the nail in the coffin of a Finals clincher.  Ok, splash colder water on my face. Pau Gasol is coming back.  Despite the doomsday predictions that his bacon is sizzled, Pau will boost this team back up and a healthy Bynum/Pau with Odom and Artest teaming up with Kobe and Fisher and Brown/Farmar off the bench... there just isn't room.  Plus, Jackson's triangle offense features a PG who does nothing really except hit open 3's.  So nay to Iverson.  BREAK

Los Angeles Clippers- I think there is potential on this roster.  I would love to see Dunleavy gone and Byron Scott in.  He works well with young guys and Rasual Butler flourished in his system.  This team is guard heavy and the rotation is sorta set.  But if they keep losing like they did last night, AI may be cruising the PCH with Artest afteral.  Alas, I am not ready to accept it because Baron and Eric Gordon control the back court and I just don't see that changing and as you already know, Iverson will not accept a role.  BREAK

Golden State Warriors- Wow.  Um where do you start here?  StephJack is gone.  They bring in Raja Bell who is nothing short of a gamer and he opts for season ending wrist reconstruction.  Vlad may or may not work out which could really determine a lot.  Seems like Monta will be gone any day.  Morrow and Randolph are slowly creeping more and more into the rotation.  Curry has been off/on and spotty at best but serviceable and very commendable for a rookie.  Maggette is Maggette and Mikki Moore has weird hair.  Meanwhile, Don Nelson looks like a mix between Chuck Daly and John Daly right about now.  Where does that leave us?  I really don't know.  Maybe this is a situation that Iverson is perfect for; just come in, slap on a jersey and hog minutes.  There will be plenty of shots to go around as the Warriors favor the blistering pace.  Iverson and Nelson will surely spat but what else is new for either?  It is easy to be lured into a false sense of hope with this team after last night's tough fought loss to Cleveland but, nah.  Maggette was inspired by the awkward faux-rivalry LeBron fosters.  Randolph and Morrow did a sneak preview of 2011 and in the end, they fell short.  Hey you know what, deal Monta for a bruiser to gobble rebounds and insert Iverson on a team that is superstar-less.  Um, that may actually work.  MAKE

Sacramento Kings- Well, for starters, Kevin Martin is out for a while.  But he will be back.  Tyreke Evans has been great/good/inconsistent.   The rest of the line up (Jason Thompson excluded) has been rather blah.  At 5-5 they may be deceiving you.  First off, 2 of those wins came to Golden State and Memphis. uh huh.   They pulled of a quality with in OKC and at home against Houston and a rather pedestrian win at Utah.  Not to downgrade there quality play but they will not be .500 all year.  But they are.  And that underscores a cohesiveness this team is kinda/sorta showing.  Scratch off San Antonio is week 1 and Chicago last night, Sac-town has been in every game very competitively.  Read: Team chemistry is solid.  Don't introduce volatile elements.  Why not ride out the KMart injury, see what you got with 'Reke and see what dealing Nocioni can do for you?  BREAK


Northwest:


Oklahoma City Thunder-  I have been dying to get to this one.  I love this team and the upside that resides in that locker room.  This team has 'future" written all over it except they are doing it in the present.... as in right now.  Yet, what holds this team back is end-game situations are too predictable.  An understandably immature end gamer, Durant, gets the ball and everyone waits for him to make something happen.  Now, what if you slap #3 in there.  He can take the ball and pressure off Durant.  You can roll Durant off screens or post him on smaller defenders.  You can let Iverson penetrate and draw defenders.  All I am saying is Iverson could be worth an extra 5 wins for a team that may really benefit from an extra 5 wins.  Still, this is all nill as that would require Iverson playing a role position most likely off the bench.  You are not taking Thabo out of the line up because he is becoming a Bruce Bowen/Stacey Augman/Ray Lewis hybrid and his ability to lock down quality shooting guards (17.3 ppg and 37% from the field against Thabo this year and that includes DWade, Kobe, TParker etc).  Russell Westbrook is the PG and although turnover prone and erratic from the arc, AI is no better.   BREAK


Minnesota Timberwolves- You are the Midwestern equivalent of the Knicks right now.  Promise me I will get at least a quarter of the Johnny Flynn/Ramon Sessions show every night and AI is all yours.  Perfect cesspool for him to drop 25 a night.  MAKE

Utah Jazz- I would try to make a case why AI could work on this roster but this post got Sloan-blocked, just like any talk of AI in Morman-land.  BREAK

Denver Nuggets- This one is pretty straight forward.  With Iverson they straddled the playoff fence.  Without him, they were a few bounces away from the NBA finals.  While it would be funny to see Chauncey's face when they welcome AI back to the community, it ain't gonna happen.  BREAK

Portland- I don't really know what to make of this team yet.  But one thing is for sure, they have overloaded the guard position.  When you consider Jarred Bayless and Martell Webster could break out any day, Andre Miller and Steve Blake are constants, Rudy Fernandez can meander through 3 spots on the rotation and Brandon Roy pretty much does it all.  Sorry Iverson, this bus is full.  BREAK


And we have reached the end of our MAKE or BREAK: The Allen Iverson addition.

Isn't it sad that we are talking about a Hall-of-Fame, MVP, offensive specimen totally unmatched in any generation past, present, probably future, and yet we can only reasonably think of seven situations that work, none of which are winning teams?  Chalk this up to inflexibility of the superstar.  At least team's know what to expect now.  Memphis thought they got a guy happy to come off the bench and earn more minutes but what they got was a prima-dona, aging veteran who's pride and ego were too important to be shelved.  I do not mean to bash Iverson.  I love(d) watching him play and know that no one will go at it harder on the floor while on the floor.  But that doesn't mean my opinion of him has not changed.  The "Warrior" tag he basically owned will no longer be his.  A guy who isn't even willing to go out and earn a spot he thinks he deserves?  He signs a deal with a team he knew was going no where and gave up on them after three games?  No, these are not the characteristics of a warrior.  To find disrespect where a challenge lies; to choose exile over a battle; to serve one's ego over one's duty; no... not a warrior, just a delusional 34 year old who has a lot of amazing, truly one-of-a-kind stories but never really got it.

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